I don’t live in a zoo, but I do live above one


Holding together the jello

There is a place between the earth we walk on and hell. It’s a dark and dangerous place. Dank and smelly. And full of creatures who have bright eyes, sharp, pointy teeth, and they don’t shower on a regular basis.

Am I talking about another dimension? Another world that houses demons and spirits? Am I being superstitious and spouting myths that might make up one of those reality paranormal shows on the SyFy channel?

No. I’m simply talking about the crawl space under my house.

I have some new rules for any animals living under my house, and it includes paying for you own cable tv, and inviting me to any and all parties you host. I have some new rules for any animals living under my house, and it includes paying for you own cable tv, and inviting me to any and all parties you host.

Listen. Do you hear that? That scratching? Yeah, that’s our latest, uh, guest to the Animal Hostel I’m running.

You know those commercials that tells you for the price of a cup of coffee…

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